


If We Ever Meet Again

by TheQueenOfAlexandria



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Angst, F/M, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Niall Lynch is Alive, Slow Burn, Time Shenanigans
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-20
Packaged: 2018-11-29 04:34:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11433270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheQueenOfAlexandria/pseuds/TheQueenOfAlexandria
Summary: Adam wakes up to find himself in a world that is untouched by magic and everything has changed. Adam is desperate to get back the life he knew before, but finds the others are not so eager to leave the life they know behind.





	1. The End of the Beginning

Adam woke up to the familiar sound of a dog howling. He hadn't heard that sound in over a year. 

His bedroom looked the same as it always had. Small, sparsely decorated, the familiar sense of shame clinging to the walls that threatened to close him in. 

He wasn’t supposed to be here. 

He took in the room again. Nothing looked like it had changed, but it felt like everything had. He balanced on the edge of his bed and snapped his fingers next to his ear. He heard nothing. 

Where the hell was Ronan? He never would have let Adam within a mile of this place. He had to get out of here. He quickly searched his drawers finding all of his clothes neatly packed away in small piles before throwing open his closet door looking for something. Something. What was he looking for? 

It didn't matter. What mattered was getting out of this place alive. He threw on a t-shirt and jeans before opening his bedroom door as quietly as possible. 

The trailer was silent, which was good. There was a chance he could leave before running into his parents at all. There was no doubt in his mind that neither of them would be happy to see him. 

Adam made it halfway across the living room before his father stepped out from the bedroom behind him. 

“Where you think you’re going, boy?” his father called. His voice was rough, no doubt a result of his morning hangover, but clear. It was still too early to drink. Usually, the mornings were safer. Today, though, the morning did not feel safe at all. 

Adam hesitated a moment. He wanted to bolt out the door and never look back. He wanted to find Ronan and ask what the fuck was going on. He should not still be made to feel weak by his father. He had already made his choice, protecting the man he loved, who loved him, over the man who beat him on a regular basis. He was supposed to be stronger now. 

Adam turned around slowly to face his father. 

“School,” he lied. It did not come out as smoothly as he would have liked. Was he supposed to be in school today? He couldn't remember. What day was it? He couldn’t remember that either. 

Suddenly, he remembered what he had been looking for in his closet and his stomach turned sour. Where was his Aglionby uniform? It shouldn't have been there anyway. It should have been hanging from on of the lower rafters in St. Agnes, but all of his other clothes had somehow wound up back in the trailer. 

His father’s gravelly snort pulled his attention back to reality. 

“Waste a time if ya ask me,” he said, but waved Adam away like he couldn’t stand the sight of the boy any longer. Adam was more than happy to oblige. 

He stepped out onto the small patio and glanced down at his wrist out of sheer habit. He had not worn a watch for months after giving his to Opal. She tried to return it to him on a number of occasions, but he did not have it in his heart to accept it back.  
Seeing the watch on his wrist sent a jolt of panic through his body. It took his three tires before he was able to calm down enough to notice the time. He had half an hour to make it to class before he would be marked late. He reached into his pocket to call Gansey for a ride. Of course, his pockets were empty. 

It was not unusual for him to completely look over the fact that he had a cellphone now, much to his friend’s chagrin. He hated using it more than he had to but now he felt a little desperate. He thought for a minute about going back inside to search for the phone in his room before ultimately deciding to move on. A small voice in the back of his mind warned him that he would find no such device in there anyway. 

He walked around back pulling open the shed, hoping to find it empty. His bike should have been nestled in the hall, under the stairs in St. Agnes. It should have been leaning against the brick wall of Monmouth or in the shade of the oak tree in front of Fox Way. It should have been in the trunk of Ronan’s car. 

Instead it was sitting in the shed laid precariously on its side exactly the way Adam would have set it down. 

He picked up the bike and quickly made his way to Monmouth praying that this would not be one of the few days Ronan decided it was appropriate to make an appearance at school. 

When he first pulled into Monmouth”s lot, he noticed there were no cars, which was disappointing in of itself. Even more disappointing was the fact that Monmouth looked as if it hadn’t been touched in years. Large clumps of grass sprang up in overgrown tufts where the cars normally parked. Ivy climbed its way up the side of the building. Large vines wrapped around the frame of the door, making it all but impossible for any one to come and go. 

Admittedly it had been awhile since he had been to Monmouth, both Adam and Ronan choosing to spend their time away from the others tangled up in Adam’s small bed above the church or lazing away their nights on one of the many couches at the Barns. Still, all of that could not have grown over since the last time he had been there. 

Where the hell was he?


	2. God Save The Trees

Adam prided himself on being able to think logically even in the worst of times. After checking to make sure that Monmouth was in fact as empty as he suspected it was, he rode his bike over to Aglionby. 

Though it was doubtful that Ronan would be there, Gansey hardly ever missed school. He would find Gansey, together they would find Ronan, figure out what was happening and then life would go back to normal. Or at least as normal as it was before. God, had their lives ever been normal?

The second he pulled up to Aglionby, his logical plan was shot to hell. 

The courtyard was still filled with students even though classes were set to begin in a matter of minutes. It was not the tardiness of the other students that flustered Adam, but the fact that half the students were girls. 

“What the fuck?” He whispered to himself, or at least thought he whispered though the group of girls sitting closest to the edge of the courtyard turned to look at him and then burst into a fit of giggles. 

In a wave of embarrassment, Adam reached down to brush of his uniform only to realize he still wasn't wearing his. Ignoring the heat making its way across his cheeks, he pushed his way through the crowd, hoping for something to go right for once in his life. 

He made his way to his Latin since he was fairly certain that was the only classroom Ronan even knew how to find. Immediately, he knew he had made a mistake. 

“Whelk?” He cried as he stepped through the door. “Why are you here?”

Barrington Whelk look just as awkward as the last time Adam saw him alive. He was staring down at his desk with tight fists clenched around his head, as if desperately nursing a hangover headache. 

“I can honestly tell you that I ask myself that same question every single morning of my life,” Whelk replied, though his answer seemed mostly directed at himself, since he didn’t even bother to look up from his desk as he spoke. 

“Whatever,” Adam said after a moment. He only had enough energy to deal with one problem at a time. “Have you seen Gansey?” 

Whelk finally peeled his eyes from his desk and took Adam in with a disgusted sneer.

“I’m sorry,” Whelk said, though he hardly sounded sorry at all. “Have we met before?” 

“Yes, you psychopath. I’m Adam Parrish, you’re Barrington Whelk. You tried to kill my friend Richard Gansey. You did kill my friend Noah Czerny,” Adam yelled a little hysterically before mentally chiding himself. Flipping out had never solved any of his problems before. The day was wearing on him and it was not even 9 o’clock yet. 

“Czerny?” Whelk asked with a humorless chuckle. “Last I heard, he was living it up in the Hamptons with a playboy bunny. Never heard of this Gansey fellow you are talking about. And you? Parrish, you said? Seems like you were just added to my first period Latin.” 

He rolled his gaze slowly over Adam’s t shirt and jeans, focusing on a small hole near the bottom of his shirt curtesy of his mother’s cigarette. 

“School has definitely gone down since I graduated. First with the chicks, now with the scholarship trash,” Whelk muttered, quietly enough that no one except Adam would hear him. “You should have a some kind of donation uniform in the office with your schedule. You’d better hurry up and get a move on. I don’t take kindly to students who don’t even have enough respect to show up to first day of class on time.” 

By the time he finished speaking, the classroom was mostly filled, though three seats in the left corner remained unoccupied.

“Hey Parrish,” Whelk called out as Adam turned to walk away from him in the direction of the office. “You make a horrible first impression.”

Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, Whelk had been right. Apparently, it was supposed to be Adam’s first day at Aglionby. He felt a little better in his uniform, though he had forgotten how lonely it was walking in the hallways without Gansey, Ronan or even Henry at his side. 

He was in a rush to get back to Latin though he couldn't care less about disappointing Whelk. He was, however, becoming more than a little desperate to find Ronan. 

He was so wrapped up in his own thoughts that he barely registered the small girl rushing down the hallway in the opposite direction before he crashed into her with full force. 

“This is just prefect,” she said throwing her hands in the air and looking down at the papers scattered around her feet, though she made no moves to pick them up. 

Adam took in the girl in front of him. She was very pretty in a non-traditional way. Her long dark hair was carefully braided back into a mohawk. She wore the same uniform as the rest of the students, though she added tiny rainbow gems around the collar of her sweater and carried an oversized canvas bag spray painted with the phrase “God Save The Trees”. 

“Blue?” He asked. 

“Who wants to know,” Blue shot back before sighing dramatically and bending over to pick up her scattered papers. 

“No, please. Don't help,” she scolded rolling her eyes. 

“Oh sorry,” he said, bending down. He could barely pull his eyes from her. “Its just you look so different. You know, with the hair and everything.”

She looked up at him with an annoyed scowl but did not bother replying, instead snatching away the lone paper he managed to grasp. 

“I like it. Don't get me wrong. Very warrior princess. It’s fitting.” Jesus. Their breakup conversation went better than this one. 

Blue looked back at him, still frowning, but with less menace. 

“Am I supposed to know who you are because I have to admit Regis, I’m going to have to ask the audience.”

“Ha. Funny,” Adam replied dryly. “Different look, same attitude.” When Blue’s eyes narrowed and she muttered something about “rich private school pricks” so he quickly spoke up again. 

“Listen, I am looking for Ronan. Ronan Lynch. Do you even know him here?” Adam asked. He looked around the hallway as if Ronan would just appear out of thin air. No such luck. 

“Look, if this is some kind of breakup thing, I’ll tell you, Ronan is not really into the whole “boyfriend” deal. It would be best to just cut your loses now. You are attractive enough. There are plenty of other fish in the sea.” She wrinkled her nose at him, which Adam had to admit was a little cute before he focus on what she was saying. 

“Boyfriend?” Adam asked. “Does Ronan have a boyfriend? Oh my god. Is he with Kavinsky?” 

“No,” Blue said before Adam let himself fall into a complete meltdown breakdown. “I already told you. Ronan does not do boyfriends. You seem new so I guess you haven't gotten the message yet. It’s not personal though, it just is what it is.” 

“Do you know where he is?” Adam asked. Blue stared him down for while before shaking her head in defeat. 

“Your funeral,” she said eventually. “Follow me.”


	3. The Right Side of Rock Bottom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is Ronan centric, though he is a little different from the Ronan we usually know and love. It is purposeful so don't hate on me for not sticking to character.

Ronan Lynch hated Latin with a burning passion. Apparently, a foreign language looked good on college applications and Aglionby was one of those pretentious school that pretended Latin would ever be an applicable language to learn for the “real” world. 

Plus, there was something about Whelk that gave him the creeps. 

Instead of heading into class, he found himself wandering over to picnic tables by the tennis courts. The tennis courts were in plain sight of the building so the stoners tended to stay away. Here, he figured everyone would pretty much leave him alone. 

For some reason Ronan found himself drifting. He woke up tired, like he had hardly gotten any sleep despite the fact that he got in at least a solid 8 eight hours. He stayed in bed long after his alarm went off trying to recall his dream. He couldn't remember anything that had happened but it had felt so, so real. By the time he pulled himself out of bed, Declan was already pitching a fit because they were late. 

The idea of sitting in his least favorite class first thing in the morning felt draining. 

Whatever, he had a 4.3 GPA and had already nailed his SATs. That, plus his letters of recommendation and his extra curricular activities, made him a shoe in at any college of his choice. He could skip just this once. 

If Ronan was being honest with himself, he would admit he was getting pretty sick of all of it. School, tennis, the barns. Most of the guys at school were uptight assholes with too much money and not enough sense. Luckily for both of them they were still pretty hot. 

He was ready to leave it all behind him. 

It would kill Blue and Declan to hear him talk like that. He could imagine them one day, marrying, settling in at the Barns, running the farm with their children. It was a nice image, he guessed, but not for him. He had bigger plans, bigger dreams. 

His mother used to call him her “little dreamer”. He always had trouble sleeping as a kid and would often climb out of bed to find his mother swinging on the porch, looking out into the night. 

“What’s the matter tonight, my little dreamer,” she would ask and Ronan would tell her about the things going on in his mind that made falling asleep all but impossible. Truthfully, he like their time alone together. How she would listen attentively to whatever he said and then would talk to him quietly as if he were important enough to share her own thoughts and feelings with. 

“You remind me of myself, Ronan,” she would whisper like she was giving up some kind of precious secret to him alone. Perhaps in a twisted way she was. “You and I, our dreams are too big for a place like this.” 

She would rock him until he fell asleep and he would wake in the morning not remembering if it was real or not. 

When his mother left her family, Ronan swore he would never love another woman again. Sometimes he joked that he was gay out of pure spite. Usually, no one else found that joke particularly funny and Ronan himself only said it when he was feeling his most bitter. Still, it was hard for Ronan to open up to anyone.

Blue had saved him, though in her own way she had saved them all. Her constant presence at the Barns became the light they all needed to get through the darkest of times. 

It was why Declan loved her so loyally, despite the fact that they were incompatible on almost every level. 

Sometimes it was hard to watch him love her so fiercely, when she clearly would never return those feelings. Sometimes, he could not blame him. 

Ronan couldn’t even imagine devoting himself so whole heartedly to another person, though to be completely fair he never really tried. 

It was easy enough to find someone willing to fool around with, no strings attached, given that he went to an all male private school for the first two years of high school. In the end, it always worked out best for everyone. He had a reputation for being kind of a lathario, though it wasn’t necessarily a bad reputation. Sure, he made the rounds but no one really expected otherwise from him when they hooked up. It was not as if he treated anyone poorly because of it, if anything he treated them all better. 

Yeah, it worked out best for everyone. 

“Hey asshole,” he heard a familiar voice call stirring him out of the beginnings of what he could only assume would be a pleasant nap. God, he was so tired. How Blue knew that not only was he skipping class but exactly where to find him was beyond him. 

“What’s up, Rebel?” He asked pulling himself up off the picnic table. “Cutting class? Better hope I don't tattle to Maura.” He shook a finger in her direction, but she swatted him away half heartedly. 

“Yeah, well,” Blue shrugged and looked uncomfortably over her shoulder. Behind her stood a boy that Ronan had never seen before. He looked to be around the same height as Ronan, though he had significantly less weight. His tan skin and dark blonde hair glowed the soft light of the morning giving him the sense of being something otherworldly. The only word that could come to Ronan mind in that moment was PRETTY. The boy slouched a bit then as if feeling the others attention on him, pulled his shoulders back trying to force himself to look confident. Ronan could appreciate the gesture. No one understood fake it, til you make better than he did. Still, the boy refused to meet his eyes, looking just about everywhere that was not Ronan. Hmm. 

“New boyfriend?” He asked, wagging his eyebrows in her direction causing the boy behind her to choke out a strangled objection to the insinuation. It was not exactly reaction he was hoping for, but he would take it. 

“Shut up, Ronan,” Blue said, immune to his particular brand of taunting. “This kid says he knows you?” She said it like a question. Ronan glanced at the boy again. It was impossible that they had met before; Ronan would have remembered him. There was something familiar though. He couldn’t quite place it. 

“He was literally rushing to class to meet you,” He hadn't noticed Blue was still speaking, his attention too wrapped up in the beautiful boy before him. “I don't know his deal, but how about you play nice with this one? He seems fragile.” 

The boy shot her a nasty look, which pleased Ronan. The kid did look fragile, all tall, lanky bones with soft, floppy hair. But he also kind of looked like a bad ass. Something about him screamed that he would take no shit from anyone. Interesting. 

Blue turned back to the building with one last questioning look at the boy. 

As soon as Blue was out of sight, the kid squeezed himself between Ronan’s legs and grabbed hold of his face on either side. It would have been weirdly intimate had not been for the frantic look of panic on the face of the other boy’s face. His eyes catalogued everything for a minute before he spoke. 

“Please, for the love of god, tell me that you know who I am,” he pleaded. Up close, Ronan could see a faint cascade of freckles dotted along his cheeks and his eyes had just a little more green than blue in them. 

“I mean, we could definitely get to know each other if you want?” Ronan asked, heavy on the implication. Since the kid was obviously new and not yet privy to Ronan’s promiscuous ways, it was only fair to let him know what he was getting into right up front. “I’m Ronan Lynch.”

“Adam Parrish,” Adam began uneasily, stepping out of Ronan’s space, looking around like he was trying to figure out exactly where he was. “Wait. Are you, are you hitting on me?”

“Umm. Duh?” Who was this guy? There was no way in hell he looked like that and was never hit on before. He told the kid as much. 

“No. That’s not the problem. The problem is that you don't remember me and Gansey is not here. I’m pretty sure it has something to do with Cabeswater, though honestly I thought that was all drained when Gansey came back to life,”Adam rambled before seeming to remember he was speaking to Ronan. “Are you still the Greywaren?” 

“Are you making up words?” Ronan asked, because what else was he supposed say. “Oh shit. Are you high because I am not into that stuff, man. Pass on grass and all that.” 

“Seriously?” Adam screamed up to the sky. “Ronan Lynch is warning me about the dangers of drug usage. You have got to be fucking kidding me?”

Ronan was pretty sure Adam was being rhetorical and didn’t bother to answer. Even someone that hot was not worth the crazy luggage on the side. Ronan cleared his throat. 

“Well, while you stay out here and make your bargains with God, I’m just going to head back inside and get back to class.” 

“Since when are you worried about skipping classes?” Adam asked. He seemed generally surprised as if he knew Ronan well enough to make any kind of assumptions about him what-so-ever. 

“I don’t know. How do you think it looks when the top student can’t even be bothered to show up?” 

“You are the top of the class?” Adam asked incredulously, which Ronan had to admit was a little bit offensive. 

“Yes. Do you have some kind of problem with that?” Ronan snapped, his voice much harsher than he intended. Usually, things like that did not bother him. He cared very little about the opinion of others, let alone a complete stranger. He had his family, his friends. What did it matter what someone else thought of him? There were plenty of things about Ronan that people loved to hate, but usually Ronan was smart enough not to let them. 

“Oh, no. I absolutely believe you,” Adam said, looking down at his feet, clearly embarrassed by Ronan’s anger. Good. “Its just that you hate school.”

And well, he couldn't really argue that point. Ronan had always found school very dull. It was not the learning itself that bothered him, just everything else. He took AP level classes, though sitting there in classes for hours on end could never use his full attention span. He often found himself daydreaming of some world outside of Henrietta. It was why he was so desperate to leave. 

“I’m not going to get into college if I don't go to class. And if I don’t get into college, how am I ever supposed to get out of here?” Ronan shot back. Just being around this kid made him feel oddly vulnerable. Ronan had spent years carefully constructing walls around himself and this kid was tearing them all down pretty effortlessly. It was disconcerting. 

Adam just looked at him as if he had seen a ghost. 

“Problem?” He asked, arching his eyebrow, daring Adam to come at him again. Adam said nothing for so long that Ronan thought he wouldn’t bother replying at all. He couldn’t tell if he was thrilled or disappointed by that possibility. 

“You just seem familiar. That’s all,”Adam said finally. 

“Well Adam, you are the one who seems to think we have met each other before,” Ronan pointed out jokingly, though it did nothing to improve whatever dejection had suddenly fallen over them. 

“No,” Adam shook his head a little sadly. “It is not you that you remind me of.” 

Adam looked as though he was ready to bolt, and that some reason Ronan wasn't quite ready to let him go yet. Jesus, what was he getting himself into now.


	4. A Whole New World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, this is AU not the exact versions of Maggie's characters (even though I really, really love them too). It is my interpretation of who they would be if their lives did not have magic. If you hate it, don't read it. If you like it, I'm going to keep writing anyway. Thank again for reading!

Adam followed Ronan back into the school, lamely. Ronan for his part didn't seem to mind his newest shadow. If anything he was more than a little amused by the attention. 

“How do you know Blue?” Adam asked. It seemed like the safest question to ask at this point. 

“Our Dads used to be in a band together before we were born. Our parents were best friends before her Dad and my Mom took off. She’s practically been part of the family since she was born.” 

This was not what Adam had expected. Ronan and Blue were friends. And not just friends, but close friends, best friends. It made sense. Even where he was from it was obvious that Blue and Ronan were much closer than they lead on. Still, he felt like he was missing something. 

It felt obvious. 

“Blue’s Dad left?” He asked not because it meant anything significant to him, but more as a means of keeping the conversation going. They had stopped at Ronan’s locker 

“Before she was born. Doesn't bother her so much, but I wouldn't bring it up or anything,” Ronan suggested. “Why? Are you interested? I was just kidding about the boyfriend thing earlier, you know, but I don’t know you, kinda seem like her type.” 

“Blue and I are just friends,” Adam emphasized. It did not seem like Ronan cared so much but Adam felt the need to press the issue regardless. Ronan just shrugged. 

“Does she know that? Because she had her mean girl face on the whole time she was talking about you,” Ronan pointed out. When Adam looked over to him he was smiling so freely it made his chest tight. 

Smiles like that from Ronan were rare, even when the two of them were alone. There had been too much destruction, too much deviation in Ronan’s life for Adam to be upset about it. He took every smile he got like a win. Now, it felt like cheating. 

“So Blue’s Dad was in a band, you don't know anything about Cabeswater or about being the Greywaren,” Adam repeated cautiously. By this point his Ronan would have been terribly bored by their conversation very to flip a table at Adam’s dimness but this Ronan seemed to take it all at ease. 

“What about Maura? What does she do?” 

“She runs a daycare out of her house. Declan and I used to go there when we were kids,” Ronan said. 

“You and Declan,” Adam repeated. Declan. Declan. Ronan and Declan. What was he missing? “What about Matthew? Maura never watched Matthew?”

“Who is Matthew?” Ronan asked, turning back to Adam in confusion. 

“You’re brother, Matthew?” Adam felt like his legs were kicked out from underneath him. Of course, Matthew would not have existed without Ronan being the Greywaren. 

The problem was so freaking obvious Adam felt like an idiot for not recognizing it sooner. 

“Ronan, what is your mother’s name?”

“Christina,” he replied, tensing just the slightest bit. Fuck.

Whelk was alive. Noah was alive. Gansey was no where to be found. Matthew didn’t exist. Aurora didn’t exist. Adam was in a Henrietta where magic did not exist. 

“God damn it Ronan. We have to get your brother back,” Adam cried. For his Ronan it would have been the most pressing issue so Adam felt the need to be unnerved on his behalf. 

“Hate to break it to you, Parrish, but I do in fact already have a brother,” Ronan said. He wore a sharp grin, as if he were more amused by the direction this conversation had taken. “His name is Declan. You know, pain in the ass, probably following Blue around like a puppy dog.”

“No,” Adam said, frustrated. “You don't even like Declan. In fact, you don’t even call him Declan. You call him Dick-lan.”

Much to his annoyance, Ronan let out a loud laugh. Under normal circumstances, a sound like that would have made Adam’s heart sing. Now, though, it was just annoying. 

“Dick-lan,” Ronan repeated, trying out the name. “Now that sounds like me. I think I’ll steal for myself that if you don’t mind.”

“Whatever, you are the only one to call him that anyway,” Adam muttered before remember why he began this conversation to start with. “Thats not the point! I’m not talking about him. I’m talking about Matthew.”

“Sorry, dude. Don't know a Matthew. Can’t help you there,” Ronan slammed his locker shut and turned to face Adam with a smug smile still pasted on his face. Adam wanted to smack it off. Or kiss it. Regardless of the ways in which this Ronan had changed, he was still hot as hell. 

This Ronan’s dark hair was grown out in unruly curls on the top of his head, though the sides were trimmed down. He was still all lean muscle but without the tattoo peaking out from underneath his collar he seemed almost sweet. 

And since when was Ronan so damned happy? Was he happier here, in this world, without magic, without dream things, without Adam? It seemed like it. Adam stomach turned with guilt. Was it fair to try and convince Ronan to give up this life for the one Adam knew? Because why? Because Adam was happier there? 

He felt abruptly exhausted by this conversation. 

“Nevermind,” Adam said, looking down at his shoes. They were dirty and peeling around the toes, but he would rather look at them than have to face Ronan again. “Just forget I said anything to you.”

He had to get away.

“Wait a minute,” Ronan said, shoving himself away from the locker trying to catch up to Adam. “Wait, wait, hold on a sec.” 

But Adam couldn’t slow down if he wanted to. He had never once cried in front of Ronan and he would be damned if it was here, in this “Screw Adam Parrish” twilight zone that they were apparently living in. 

“Do you want to come over for dinner?” Ronan shouted, causing Adam to stop dead in his tracks. The tears stopped threatening out of sheer surprise. 

“You want me to come over for dinner?” Adam asked, dumbly. 

Ronan for all of his cool amusement and bravado, looked around the hallway sheepishly. 

“I mean, yeah. If you want,” he said, nodding his head as if he were also trying to convince himself. “My Dad is like this awesome cook so we will have more than enough food. And no offense, bro, but you look like you need it.” 

Adam should have felt offended, but he didn’t. Back in whatever universe he was from he knew the only reason he was alive was due to the “leftover” pizzas Blue would bring him after work or the “extra” food that Gansey would order and claim he could not possibly finish. Ronan himself would show up to St. Agnes with a full bag of groceries stating that if Adam didn't eat every single thing in the bag he would end their relationship. At first, Adam called his bluff, pointedly not touching a single thing Ronan bought, but after two horribly long weeks of silent treatment Adam broke down and cooked them a romantic dinner. All of it tasted better than his pride anyway. 

“Your Dad?” Adam repeated and Ronan shot him a look that said he was regretting talking to Adam all together. 

Adam had never met Niall Lynch and though he would never admit it to anyone, he was sort of glad. He knew that Ronan’s father was some kind of legend to his children, Ronan especially, but Adam couldn't help but think he did a little more damage than good. Not that Adam was an expert on functional parents. 

“Yes,” Ronan answered slowly. “Like I said my Dad is always making all kinds of food and Blue will be so proud of me for taking in another stray. If you don't want to come, whatever, but the offer is in the table.” 

“Okay,” Adam found himself saying before the conversation had fully caught up to him. Adam apparently already existed in this life and was more than likely supposed to be working one of his three jobs, but being invited to Ronan’s house seemed like the best way to get back on track. 

“I can give you directions,” Ronan began before Adam interrupted him. 

“I know where you live,” he said forcefully, as if he could drive the fact that he and Ronan already knew each other into his brain by sheer force of words. 

“Right,” Ronan said, looking at Adam skeptically again. “I was going to say I could give you directions but I live in Singer Falls so it is a little far. I was going to offer you a ride if you want.” 

“You still have the BMW?” Adam asked. 

“No. Thats my Dad’s car. He wouldn't let me touch that with a ten foot pole,” Ronan replied easily accepting that Adam acting more and more like a stalker by the minute. “My brother, not the one you were talking about, the other one. He drives. He can even come pick you up later if you don't feel like come with us after school. He’ll do anything Blue asks him to do." 

Adam found himself nodding. The idea of being alone in a car with Declan was unappealing. Even on their best days, they didn't quite see eye to eye. But he needed to get his shit together before spending the night, not only with Ronan, but his entire family. 

“Got a cell?” Ronan asked, though it looked like he was asking more out of curtesy than actually believing Adam had a phone given that he was already reaching into his bag to pull out a sheet of paper and a pen. Adam found himself rolling his eyes at the idea of Ronan doing anything out of politeness. “I’ll just give you my number, in case.”

“I already know your number.” Adam looked at Ronan challengingly. Ronan looked up and met Adam’s gaze head on. He raised his eyebrow at the boy, accepting the challenge but not replying. 

“703-246-8996,” Adam stated more confidently than he felt at that moment. Of all that things that had changed Ronan’s phone number could have easily been one of them. 

“How the fuck do you know that?” Ronan asked. For a minute Adam could see the flash of the boy he had known before. A boy who used anger to cover up his own insecurity. A boy who would react without thinking regardless of any consequences. 

It was Adam’s turn to laugh. It was a wild thing.   
“I told you. We know each other already,” Adam said, smiling in a way that was not completely appropriate for the situation. “Not here. Not in this place, but we do. I’m going to do whatever I can to make sure as fuck that you remember me too.”

With that he turned and walked away, leaving Ronan gaping behind him. It felt good to end the conversation on more of a level ground. He felt more like himself than he had since he woke up in this god awful place.


	5. It Was Only Just a Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> teeny tiny update but more to come soon. <3

Ronan found himself drifting most of the day. After Adam left him, Ronan wandered into the back corner of the library for free period. He planned on texting someone to bring him their Latin notes but the second he sat down he found himself pulled involuntarily into sleep. 

The dream was strange. It was as if Ronan was having an out of body experience. He felt himself trapped in his own body, trapped in his mind. He could tell what was happening but he did not have control. He could feel the emotions coursing through him but he could not understand why exactly what he was feeling what he was feeling. 

In the dream he found himself walking along the back fields of the Barns. It was a trip he had made many times in his life, but this time felt illicit. Important. It was as if the dream was attempting to force him to understand why. 

The Barns looked the same but there was something else about it that set Ronan’s hair on edge. There was a thrum of, of something, coursing through his entire body. 

Ronan was so wrapped up in himself and his surroundings that he did not realize that he was not alone. He turned around and found himself staring into the face of Adam Parrish.

Adam looked every bit the stranger that Ronan had met earlier that morning, but to dream Ronan he felt so familiar.

Adam’s gaze weighed heavy on him and Ronan could tell he was fighting himself not to look away. He stood up straight with his hands tucked into the back pockets of his jeans. He was not entirely comfortable, but he was trying to be. The light green t-shirt he wore was worn down and looked incredibly soft. His overgrown hair fell carelessly over these piercing eyes. Everything about him begged Ronan to touch, but as soon as the thoughts were there dream Ronan shut them down and forced them away. 

Still, Adam was looking at him with an intensity that was overwhelming and Ronan found himself having to look away. 

“What do you need from me?” Adam asked, so softly that it was a jolt to dream Ronan’s system. It was as if the dam broke and all of the thoughts Ronan fought so desperately to shut down came coursing back to him. The Adam in front of him was giving himself to Ronan, freely and wholly. No strings, no expectations, no resentment. 

Instead of answering, he reached out on instinct and ran a light hand down Adam’s arm. He paused at Adam’s wrist, both boys looking down at their hands unable or unwilling to meet each other’s eyes. Ronan took a slow breath and twisted their fingers together. The moment their fingers entwined, the thrum Ronan felt earlier exploded into an overpowering sensation. They boys held on to each other for dear life. They were connect to the sensation, to the world around them, to each other. 

And then Ronan woke up.


End file.
